Monday, March 30, 2009

My FF: Fitness Filosophy

Ok Step #2 - Total Body Crunch Time.

Since this certainly cannot be summed up in a single exercise post I have a feeling many of my April posts will be devoted to my take on fitness. And what is that you might ask? Well, here is my Fitness Filospophy:

"Doing the least painful and minimally exhausting activity to provide the maximum result in the shortest amount of time - while keeping me entertained."

As a former Division 1 college soccer athlete many people don't beleive me when I say I'm not a runner. They throw their heads back, roll their eyes, and mutter "Yeah right, quit fishing..." or something along those lines. But I PROMISE. Contrary to my thin frame and athletic background I am terrible at running and despise most fitness work-outs. I avoid treadmills. I hate gyms. And I don't believe in such a thing as a Runner's High, (I think it's just a mean lie that "runners" talk about to make us out-of-shapers feel even worse). The only way I'll get on a treadmill is if I haven't moved in days and I've just realized I finished the last pack of Oreos...that I bought yesterday.

So in place of this nasty little plague called running, I try to come up with new ways to exercise whenever possible. I really do enjoy the feeling of working-out, and I do appreciate a good sweat, but I just need to get there driving a different car. I need entertainment. I need variety. And I need exercises that don't give me reminders that I'm exercising. Like a freakin' side stitch.

Oh, and I don't want to pay money to do it. What a waste. You know I'm going to go right to Taco Bell on the way home from the gym and crack a bottle of wine after I work out. Sorry, but I'd rather spend my monthly membership fee on shoes. (Thank God my shoe size won't fluctuate quite like my pants might).

So if you're with me, and hate the run-around of the gym and those bragging high runners (wait, is that right?) stay tuned through April for more of my Fitness Filosophies. I'll keep you entertained, get you in a bikini, and we won't spend a penny; at least I'll try.

Disclaimer: You are willingly reading advice from an out-of-shaper. It's your own fault for listening to someone who gets winded on the stairs.

1 comment:

  1. haha I love it Em! I look forward to the April blog - I hate gyms and working out just as much as you do.